Take me as I am, or watch me as I go

I have been blessed, and I feel like I’ve found my way. I thank God for all I’ve been given at the end of every day. I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve, to be here with the ones that love me, to love them so much it hurts. ♥

People are not perfect. I am not perfect. I don't lead people to believe I live in this perfect, delusional world. I have no problem fighting, or saying something when things aren't right. At the end of the day, the love you have for one another is all that matters, and if you need other people to tell you my life is miserable in order to make your life better, I feel very sorry for you. The validation of your own life should not depend on how good or bad my life is. I don't tolerate apologies that are meaningless. I see right through people that are not genuine. If you don't mean what you say, shut your mouth and stop talking to me. I'm not interested in associating myself with those that are shady, self-centered, and dishonest. I have come a long way to be where I am today, and I look back on past relationships and I am happy they didn't work out. You let go, and you move on to find something that will make you happier than before - and I know that I have found that. I look back on past friendships that have or haven't been mended and I am happy for those as well. The people that treat me right, are the people I keep around. When you are good to me, I am an amazing friend right back. I have a big heart for the sincere and loyal.

 I miss my friends. The ones I could sit and talk for hours with, laugh so hard that no noise is coming out. I miss Dream Phone and game nights and nights that included nothing but pizza & Disney movies. I miss the one-liners, Chatroulette, bucket lists and endless stories. Maybe someday people will be able to see me, and if they don't - I will keep moving along. I will not force relationships or act like anything but myself in order to people to like me. Take me as I am, or watch me as I go.

After a hurricane comes a rainbow.

 It's been one year, one week, and three days since we said goodbye to Kennedy Leigh. It's been two months, one week, and three days since we said hello to our precious rainbow, Audrina Jo. Steve and I are so blessed to finally have the family we always wanted right in our arms. She is healthy, and absolutely beautiful.

Starting over.

 I originally started this blog to document my journey as a first time mom with my first baby girl, Kennedy. Steve & I were unbelievably excited to have a family, and we were devastated when we lost her at 19 and a half weeks. It's a heartbreaking and empty feeling - being pregnant one day, and not being pregnant the next. You will always wonder who that baby would have been, who she would have looked like, who she would have grown up to be. Losing a baby takes a piece of you, and it's something you will never forget. I'm not very religious, but I am very sure that what happened to Kennedy was simply unfortunate. I do not blame God, or tell myself there had to be something wrong with her in order to help me move forward. My baby girl was healthy, and perfect. She was beautiful. Looking to God and my faith is what has put me back together. I think that keeping our faith is what puts us back together when it all gets too hard.


I miss my angel more than I can find a way to say. I am very thankful for those that take time out of their lives to let me know they remember, or that they are thinking of her. I am very appreciative of those that take the time to understand how hard this has been. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her, and I believe that she is watching over us knowing we would have done everything we could have for her.